I had to go to the office today to start my first official work as a voice actor. Although it was a minor character, it was just as tiring. I went out of the way to create a voice as original to the character as possible, and I guess I could say it paid off. In the end, I was dead tired. Man, I didn't know that a voice actor's job is that challenging...

Well I have to rest soon. Gotta record Nico Nico Douga tomorrow and go to the office again. Yawn...

Dempster
1:29 AM

I just finished my ComDA stuff. Well at least everything that's supposed to be done by tomorrow. But for some reason I feel that something's missing inside. Ah well, screw it, just get it done and over with and I can rest for the whole week.

I just became a daimeijin (大名人) on Taiko no Tatsujin DS2. It's gold-plated, so I assume it's the highest rank? If so, wohoo! I can never forget how many oni songs I suffered through in order to get to this rank.

Currently there are a few sentences running in my mind. One of them is this:

"I don't get people. Never have, never will."

Yes I got that from The World Ends with You, but that's exactly how I feel now. I really don't understand why people do this or that or feel this and that way and whatsoever, it's really tiring to try to understand everyone I know. Which leads me to the next sentence.

"I got my values, so you can keep yours, alright?"

This is a little confusing, but no one should tell me what to do in order to please them. Like the sentence says, I got my own values, and that's what makes me different from everyone else, even though it's in a negative way.

Gah. Life is so confusing.

Dempster
8:28 PM

I hate my life. I mean it.

There's never a day when I can just lie on the bed and rest without having to worry about my bloody assignments. I just want a day's worth of rest. When I mean a day i mean 24 hours. Because of the shitload of work I have, I feel like a fucking workaholic. I can't feel my childhood days anymore.

Things have changed. They're no longer the way they used to be. Why is everything happening so quickly? In fact, too quick for me to digest?

ComDA is seriously killing me. I know I've already mentioned this before, but I feel that I'm being tied down by a rope with insanely tight knots. The only way to remove the knot is to cut it, but since I'm being tied down, how the hell can I get hold of the scissors? Even if I can get a scissors, how can I cut it without hurting myself? That exactly how I'm feeling now. Everything single small thing adds up to one big pile of shit.

I. HATE. RESEARCH. WORK.

I'm using the last few hours I have for work to type this out. Somebody please kill me. I don't wanna do ComDA.

..........I feel like quitting school.

Dempster
11:18 PM

It seems like I'm fated not to meet her. Or so I think anyway.

Character Design assignment is done. Now I have to focus on ComDA. Sigh. What's there to smile about nowadays...

Dempster
5:25 PM

Character Design is easy for me to handle, although I'm a bit lazy when it comes to colouring the little sucker.

But ComDA is killing me. First of all, I have absolutely no idea what to do for my final report. Secondly, even if I DO know what to do, there are very little websites and resources that I can call reliable. Wikipedia is out of the question since it can be edited by anyone.

Thank goodness ComDA is the last Comm module I have to take for the whole course. But for now, I think I'm gonna shit bricks trying to come up with a concept by Friday.

Dempster
8:44 PM

Yesterday Cheryl and Faith came over to my house to train Cookie, my dog. When they arrived, it was raining so heavily, even my 2 large umbrellas could not completely protect us from the raging storm. In the end, we were all almost completely drenched, and Faith's laptop even almost got wet. Wow, what's happening with the weather nowadays...

Anyway, the training was pretty good, Cookie, which Cheryl said is a fast learner, learned almost all the basic commands such as sit, stand and down. It was tough to train him at first, but he got through in the end. However, when they left, Cookie was almost back to square one, and so I gave up. My family would not heed anything both Cheryl and I said, so I guess I'll leave it to them and not care. After all, I can't decide everything can I?

I look forward to Thursday...can't wait~

Dempster
11:49 AM

Today was the audition for Double Striker. Most of the voice acting pioneer batch went, and it's interesting to know that there are also some other people from the March batch and some outside people auditioning for it as well. Needless to say, I'm very nervous. The moment I started the audition, my heart started pumping like crazy. Gawd, it was really nervous, not to mention that I was audition for some 10-12 year old boy. Wow.

On the bright side though, Eekeng was there. I thought something had happened to her for the past few days, but the truth is that she was just busy. Wtf. Some kind of niisan I am.

After the audition, 6 of Yatta!10 (Froggy, Melisa, Michelle, Melody-nee, Bryan and me) and Kai went for dinner at a place near the office. I can't believe a small plate of pork ribs cost $1.80! What the hell!

After the whole thing today, I wonder who will get it. Whoever gets in, I'm happy for them. I know for sure that I won't be in though. Sigh...

Dempster
10:30 PM

For some reason I'm getting a feeling that I'm starting to lose everything I hold dear.

Too many things have been happening lately. I'm getting stressed out. Someone please put me out of my misery.

I miss my girlfriend even though I just met her this afternoon. I feel bad for what happened today.

I miss my little sister that I declared so less than a week ago. Somehow I feel that I'm annoying her too much.

I miss the times when I have lots of fun things to do at home and not worry about anything. Now, I can't seem to do anything productive and soon I'll be working as an intern. Not to mention the heavy load of stress that I'm getting from the company that I wanna work at. Talk about having made to do something that you're not good at.

I miss being happy. Somehow I can't smile much nowadays. Something must be wrong with me.

I have to get rid of this mindset of mine. I have to get rid of all the unhappiness inside of me. I have to stop thinking about what others think of me. I have to stop worrying so much about people that may not even know the fact that I'm missing them every single second.

I have to change...but how...?

Should I call her...? Or should I just wait till Saturday and talk to her face to face...? My mind's in a whirl...

Life really gets tougher the more matured you become...

Dempster
10:14 PM