Monday, August 4, 2008
Only a week has passed. How many more weeks to go?
I don't know if this is usually the case, but I'm already getting a lot of hell from SIP. Some may say I'm lucky to have gotten crap only on the second week, I think I've had enough. I'm supposed to finish something I'm new to by noon tomorrow, and I'm damn stressed over it. That's not so much of a problem, but it's the new thing I'm worried about, as well as the timing. If I don't finish it, I'm doomed. It's hard for me to get fired, but that only means I'll get even more crap in the future, considering I'll be there for another 2.5 months.
Some may think I'm weak, I cannot handle stress, etc, but let me tell you all that you can go fuck off. What you say or think about me will not change the fact that I am INDEED weak and unable to handle stress.
Ever since I started SIP, I've been going home insanely late (by my terms). Because my mum works as a canteen vendor and thus has to sleep early, I rarely get to spend my time with her. Not just her, but my whole family as well. When I reach home, they're usually asleep, and the lights in the house are all off. The only light I saw was the light emitting from the candle flames at the altar. The only time I could spend time with my family was during the weekends. But even if so, it feels too short, and soon enough I would find myself back at the office table stressing my ass off some stupid project that demands my life.
In short, my freedom is now gone. I can't do anything anymore because of SIP, and I can't find time to do anything because I have TOO many things I wanna do. I want my freedom back......
When I was on my way home today, I saw rows and rows of chairs stacked up by the wall. I walked up and saw a group of people outside my house. At that very moment, I freaked out. Okay, I'm not supposed to say this since it's the seventh month, but I thought something happened. My heart literally stopped beating and my breath grew heavier the closer I got home. I thought the same thing that happened 2 years ago happened again.
I know it's beyond my control, but I really don't like going home late, not just for personal reasons. If I reach home late, I can't spend time with my family as much as I used to before, and I ended up regretting not being able to when I found out that I could not longer do so. I may be selfish and all, but I love my family and I wanna spend as much time with them as possible.
I lost my love because of my fucked up personality. Now I have no one other than my family to be with when I'm down. Outside, I'm alone. All alone.
.....fuck, I feel like crying.
I don't know if this is usually the case, but I'm already getting a lot of hell from SIP. Some may say I'm lucky to have gotten crap only on the second week, I think I've had enough. I'm supposed to finish something I'm new to by noon tomorrow, and I'm damn stressed over it. That's not so much of a problem, but it's the new thing I'm worried about, as well as the timing. If I don't finish it, I'm doomed. It's hard for me to get fired, but that only means I'll get even more crap in the future, considering I'll be there for another 2.5 months.
Some may think I'm weak, I cannot handle stress, etc, but let me tell you all that you can go fuck off. What you say or think about me will not change the fact that I am INDEED weak and unable to handle stress.
Ever since I started SIP, I've been going home insanely late (by my terms). Because my mum works as a canteen vendor and thus has to sleep early, I rarely get to spend my time with her. Not just her, but my whole family as well. When I reach home, they're usually asleep, and the lights in the house are all off. The only light I saw was the light emitting from the candle flames at the altar. The only time I could spend time with my family was during the weekends. But even if so, it feels too short, and soon enough I would find myself back at the office table stressing my ass off some stupid project that demands my life.
In short, my freedom is now gone. I can't do anything anymore because of SIP, and I can't find time to do anything because I have TOO many things I wanna do. I want my freedom back......
When I was on my way home today, I saw rows and rows of chairs stacked up by the wall. I walked up and saw a group of people outside my house. At that very moment, I freaked out. Okay, I'm not supposed to say this since it's the seventh month, but I thought something happened. My heart literally stopped beating and my breath grew heavier the closer I got home. I thought the same thing that happened 2 years ago happened again.
I know it's beyond my control, but I really don't like going home late, not just for personal reasons. If I reach home late, I can't spend time with my family as much as I used to before, and I ended up regretting not being able to when I found out that I could not longer do so. I may be selfish and all, but I love my family and I wanna spend as much time with them as possible.
I lost my love because of my fucked up personality. Now I have no one other than my family to be with when I'm down. Outside, I'm alone. All alone.
.....fuck, I feel like crying.
Dempster
9:55 PM
9:55 PM
